When I was growing up, I was convinced that I would be important. If you had asked me at age fifteen, "are you going to change the world?" I would have leaned towards "yes" as an answer. It is easy to have delusions of grandeur when you are successful early in life. I was athletic, intelligent, and saw nothing but success in both areas for the first twenty years of my life. I thought that I had higher moral character than most of those around me. I would have denied it at the time, but I'm sure a large part of me wanted to be wealthy and powerful. Once I became an actual adult, my perspective changed. I saw, for the first time, how difficult achieving lasting impact was. Every amazing biography I read was by someone who was already forgotten, or soon to be. I would credit books and life experience equally in changing my perspective, and I began to realize that maybe it was ok to not be massively successful. Maybe distancing yourself from the rat race was a good thing, maybe making a stable income, raising a good family, and accomplishing reasonable goals was good enough. Maybe you help others along the way, sometimes volunteering your time and money, but mostly your positive impact deals with character. You treat those around you well. You are a great husband, and a great father. You are nice to the convenience store workers. You smile. And then, at some point, you die. That seemed like a good enough life. One where you don't obsess over worldly possessions, you don't obsessive over money or power. Maybe not the most impressive life, but a very dignified one.
Or maybe not. Maybe it is actually immoral to live your life in that way. Maybe seeking wealth and power is not only good, it is the only thing you should do. Maybe rising through the ranks and moving mountains is the point of life, and every materialistic urge you have can actually further your moral progress. What sort of ridiculous philosophy would encourage this? Simple, Effective Altruism. In a world where your moral significance is measured based on the positive impact you have on others, this argument is persuasive. Raising a good family and being nice to a few people is good, but making one hundred million dollars and donating it all to fighting malaria is orders of magnitude better. Those in positions of wealth and power are in a much better position to do good, so seeking to be in that position is reasonable. It may hard to disentangle which part of your drive to the top is selfish, and which part is altruistic, but the end goal is the same. There are two steps: achieve wealth and status, and then use this wealth and status to make a positive impact. This first step may be reasonable, or it may be of the devil. Since becoming an effective altruist I have struggled with wrapping my brain around the first step. I know it won't make me happy, but how much does my happiness matter? Generally seeking money so strongly would be seen as selfish, but through this lens my desire to not seek money can be seen as selfish. My desire to not work myself to death, to enjoy my life, to have fun and relax, can be seen as doing nothing in the face of massive suffering. Silence is violence, in this sense. Longtermism takes this a step farther, pushing the dreaded main character syndrome even further down the line.
If humanity dies out, that is a massive moral loss. Trillions of potential future lives vanish, and we have no way of knowing if sentient life will reemerge in the universe. Maybe it doesn't, and everything becomes truly meaningless. What sort of person would I be if I ignored this? Maybe spending my life attempting to make even a small impact on ex-risk can tip the scales. Should I even start a family? Or should I devote the next two decades to working 100 hours a week to ensure that when AGI comes it is friendly? The more this line of thinking continues, the more I become humanity's savior. Humility vanishes, and it seems clear that I know better than everyone. People are living their lives in ignorance, while I, the smartest individual in the room, know that nuclear war, bioterrorism, and AI all threaten their lives. I am working tirelessly to prevent this, and yet I don't receive any thanks. I am a true martyr, sacrificing in obscurity. This savior complex seems impossible to avoid. My guess is that many EAs have this, especially those dealing in longtermist issues (MIRI comes to mind). Since I identify with the cause, I am not convinced this savior complex is irrational. However, it is clearly sad and unrealistic. The weight of the world simply cannot fall on the shoulders of a single individual. The world's current problems and future problems do not depend on me, and it is likely that nothing I do will change anything. It cannot possibly be true that I am humanity's savior. I am not the main character. Only through recognizing this can character really begin to build. Only through taking a look at the night sky can we begin to recognize our place in the universe. Hubris used to be the enemy, and it still is. Materialism used to be the enemy, and it still is. Maybe focusing on altruistic impact makes the picture less clear, but maybe it doesn't. Maybe staying humble and shedding self-importance is the only path forward. A path towards an impactful life full of dignity and happiness.
No comments:
Post a Comment